D: Yael, you know how everyone assumes that venting anger will make it      go away?

Y: Well, everyone knows bottling up your feelings is bad for--

D: Wrong--studies show that expressing anger just increases aggression. In one      experiment, participants who hit a punching bag to relieve frustration were more      likely to lash out later than those who sat quietly for two minutes when they were      feeling peeved.

Y: But Don, you're talking about the short-term effects of venting. And--

D: You see, when you hit something, it primes you to think aggressive thoughts. And      that, in turn, makes it more likely that you'll interpret ambiguous situations as hostile      ones.

Y: But that's the short-term effect--

D: There is little laboratory evidence supporting the idea that expressing anger is      cathartic. In fact, some scientists suggest that the reason venting anger makes us feel      better is because we're told that venting anger will make us feel better.

Y: Don! You're not listening! That's the short-term--

D: It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Releasing frustration helps because we believe it      helps.

Y: Will you just listen to me?!

D: Sheesh--what did I do?

Y: You're talking about the short-term effects of venting. In the long term, venting can be      useful, especially if you do it right.

D: There's a right way to vent?

Y: Yes. Venting can be positive if you're aware that you're venting, and you don't lash      out at people who have nothing to do with the source of your frustration. For      example, you shouldn't yell at your kids because you had a bad day at work. But it is      okay to express anger at that coworker that keeps--

D: Cutting you off.

Y: Don!

D: Sorry.  

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